Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I need your help!

Timmy on the tractor with Johnny

Several times a week I am asked by people during online chats or in emails how many children we have. Two years ago that was an easy question to answer: “I have six children”. Now, it is a bit more complicated. I still have six biological children, but only four live with me since the oldest two moved away to college this year. I have 14 new children but they’re not really mine. I usually ask, “Do you mean my children or my new children.”

This works alright for now but Chola and Queenie have been with us for 2 years now. They’re not really new anymore. In just six years, if we’re still here, likely none of our biological children will be here and Chola and Queenie will be 9 & 10 years old and definitely not new anymore.

Little Ernest could barely reach the handle

I feel intense love for all the children we’ve taken in and give them the best care I can but at the same time we haven’t adopted them. They are still wards of the state for want of a better term. We are partnered with Social Welfare to be guardians for these children and it is our goal to see them from infancy to adulthood.

Queenie having a good time.

Having said this though, this is not our country and we don’t really have a say in how long we are allowed to remain here. Hopefully it is for a very long time but only God knows this. If we do have to leave we will not be able to take any of the kids with us back to the States (or wherever we end up).

While this would break our hearts it is also the task we have taken on. We believe that God will provide the next person to love and care for them if we can’t. For now we are their mommy and daddy but someone else might take up that role later on.

All of us hanging out at the falls

So, the point of this long post is to ask your opinion. I don’t want to continually refer to the kids as my new kids nor do I want to mislead the situation by calling them my kids. We also don’t like referring to them as ‘the orphans’.

T.J with Peter

Foster children is pretty much what they are but somehow that term doesn’t sound right to me. Is it just me? I rejected 'special' kids as well.--This brings to mind short buses. Do you have any suggestions for a good collective name for this precious group of children that God has put in our care for now? Is it right to call them my children?

Tom and Jennifer

What do you think? I'm a realist and truth is important to me. I also don't want my bio kids to feel lumped on top of a crowd of future children--we expect to eventually have nearly 100 kids living at this home within 15 years.

Jasmine and Janet

Please share your opinion with me. Is there a special name we can give the kids? Or do we leave things as they are? I look forward to hearing from you.

Until then, may God bless you and keep you on your own personal adventures.


  1. Jennifer MorrowNovember 04, 2009

    I've had this same problem when telling people about "my baby", Jennifer. I say things like, "I miss my baby so much" and then I have to follow it up with, "well, she's not really my baby, but I feel like she's mine."

    I'll think more on it and then get back to you. There's just something about a special bond like that that you cannot describe.

    Hey, I got it, what about your calling them your "je ne sais quoi" children? Or some variation of that? Or maybe your panono children. I don't know. It's really late here so this might not make sense.

  2. Esther FieldsNovember 04, 2009

    Maybe you are the guardians and the babies are your 'angels'...Or more practically speaking, as in America you have your children and foster children. They all are very special, regardless. "Jesus loves the little children of the world"

  3. Well, in adoptions they have the terms of "birth moms" for the biological mom's... but that usually means you placed them for adoption.. then the adoptive parents are their "real" parents.
    I think you're the real parents for them alll...
    Maybe your 6 kids are your first 6 kids.... and then all the rest.... Ha! wish others had that such a dilema.

  4. "My children of promise"? I know it has other connotations, but it keeps coming up in my mind when I ponder this.

  5. I would say they are your Angels. I can't find any other appropriate words.


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