My Heart Just Broke a Little More

Baby Sara lost her fight with pneumonia this afternoon. For the past couple days we felt she was not responding well to the antibiotics but there didn't seem to be much else we could do. We did use our oxygen machine (she hated that!), and also pulled out every natural remedy we could find. 

Today, around noon, she took a turn for the worse and really began to struggle to breathe. When I saw how she didn't even fight the oxygen anymore, my heart sank. Our sweet volunteer, Summer, took turns with me holding Sara and loving on her. Summer was holding her as she took her last breath.

I have so many words right now swirling around in my brain. I'm going to go to bed (is it wrong that I'm looking forward to sleeping through the night?) and I'll write more tomorrow.

Thank you for continuing to pray and I will see you tomorrow. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to know that you are on the other side of my computer screen. I love you all!

Life is Like a Rollercoaster

Did I ever mention I'm not a fan of thrill rides? It's true. The very rare times I've ever been to an amusement park and been forced to ride a coaster, I've been so sure of my imminent demise that I confessed all my sins: past, present and future. Not what I think of as fun.

But, life here is exactly like a rollercoaster--a series of ups and downs, twists and turns. I never know what is coming around the bend. 

Today the 'take my breath away' dip is that Sara has once again been diagnosed with pneumonia. Whether the first medical officer missed some when he declared her lungs clear or if she has just succumbed to the virus again is unclear. We also had her tested for HIV and the rapid test (tests for antibodies) showed a positive result. What this means is that Sara's mother was definitely HIV positive. We also did a Dry Blood Test but the results for that will take weeks. We are handling getting the test down to Lusaka ourselves. Otherwise we would have to wait 3 months for results.

For now, Sara is back on injections--4 times a day this time, and also another oral antibiotic. The poor baby is breathing so rapidly and is very miserable. I've been holding her on my chest as much as possible so she feels loved and cared for. 

We're grateful that she is continuing to eat and gain weight. That will surely help her to fight off the infection. I just don't know how much more her poor little body can take. She has been fighting so hard for the past 3 weeks as well as long before we ever took her.

Pray for her to recover completely. Pray for God's will in her little life. Pray for me too, please. I really, really want to have a good result. I won't say that I couldn't stand it if she died because if that were the case God wouldn't ask it of me.....but I really would struggle if she lost hers.

Life is like a rollercoaster and I'm hoping desperately for an upward climb. For now, I'm going to have to buckle in tight and trust the architect of the ride.

Exactly One Year Ago: An Adventure of the Highest Order

P.S. We'll be celebrating our Thanksgiving on Saturday again this year. We just have so much going on and still have to buy the groceries. We've invited two other couples over so that will be nice.

Fab Friday Foto(s) XXVI

Baby Sara in the arms of our volunteer, Ester. It is wonderful to have extra hands to give Sara the cuddles she needs.
Please continue to pray for Sara as her lungs are still very congested and her breathing rate is elevated. Thankfully, she is eating fairly well (though not quite as much as she should) and sleeping well.