The Other Side of Christmas Week--part two

For part one of this story, click here.

After the nurse carried Gladys away, I sat back on the bed stunned. I picked up my phone and sent a Blackberry chat message to Debbie. She cried with me and I was so grateful again for God sending her to me at just the right moment.

Then, I had to call Meg. Gladys was more her baby than mine. She didn't answer her phone--later she told me that she saw that the call was coming from me and didn't want to here the words--so I left a voice message and felt sick to my stomach after.

I wondered how the other ladies in the ward were viewing me. In the space of 3 hours, two moms had lost babies but the reactions were very different. I had very little outward show of grief. I shed tears but they were quiet and mostly unseen. The other mother had cried aloud and at length. I voiced this question to Debbie and she reminded me that "we do not grieve as those who have no hope". Very true.

Zambians are also very social people. Part of the outward grieving is to let their family and friends know that they are sad and in need of special comfort. The entire village will gather at the sound of the wailing and wail also to show camaraderie and community.

I wanted to hold out hope for Joseph, but as I looked at him, lying so very still on the stark hospital bed, I wasn't sure. We still didn't know what was attacking his body. He had shown some improvement after some fluids via IV, but once the drip stopped he looked wan and weak again. 

Despite a negative malaria test, the decision was made to start him on quinine injections. Quinine is sa lifesaving, but extremely harsh drug. It can have terrible side effects--one of which is deafness--and is usually reserved for emergency cases. I hated that we had to give that to tiny Joseph, but there was nothing I could do.

He was also started on a second, more powerful antibiotic. His little body was being bombarded and I just hoped that we would see improvement soon.

Later that morning we were moved to a private room. I was so thankful! The room was tiny, but the bed had linens on it, there was a sink in the corner--no running water, but I could bring water in and do dishes--and a couch which turned out to be useless since it had no seat to it. That was OK. Remember my packing list from yesterday's post? One of the things I packed was a folding camp chair. Lifesaver!

I have to say here how grateful I was (and am) for our friends. The hospital was an hour away from home, so impractical for Tom to come back once he'd dropped us off. But, our good friends, Sanjay and Jackie stay there in that town. Three times a day they brought meals. I was so grateful! There was really nowhere else to get food. Jackie was a star--not only bringing a sandwich, but bringing full cooked meals. She even remember napkins and everything! It made such a difference to have that break in my day when meals and some conversation walked through my door.

Meanwhile, Joseph was still quite sick. He was so uncomfortable and seemed to be in pain, but didn't want to be held much or touched. He just lay on his back tossing his head back and forth and whimpering softly. He had no energy to drink so every two hours I had to coax him to take some milk from the bottle and then slowly pour more into his mouth bit by bit. 

There would be times when his eyes would roll around and I couldn’t tell if he was just tired or was dropping into something worse. My nerves were totally shot after caring for Gladys and how that had ended. I searched Joseph’s face endlessly hoping to see a spark of improvement.

The hospital still hadn’t taken any blood to test. The stool sample I’d given them had been corrupted. So, after 3 days, we still had no idea what was wrong.

Then, miraculously, Joseph began to show interest in his food again. He still couldn’t drink much at a time, but he wanted to—and that means all the difference in the world. He also tolerated me holding him again. I was able to pour all my love into him with cuddles and kisses. He even gave me half a smile. Nectar for my soul!

After a third night on an IV drip, he was finally rehydrated. With regular feedings I was able to maintain his fluid levels. It was Christmas Eve and I was hopeful we could go home. With careful instructions on his medications still needed (they could all be given orally) I was confident I could finish is convalescence at home. I just wanted to be at home with my family!

Thankfully, the doctor agreed. I bundled Joseph up, gathered our many survival possessions and his all important medicines and climbed into a taxi for the hour long ride home. As a special gift from God, my taxi driver was playing Christmas music and I sang along and felt a bit of Christmas spirit entering my soul.

Coming home after time away and jumping back into a household is always a challenge. When you’re doing it on the eve of arguably the biggest holiday of the year, when you are completely sleep deprived, well, let’s just say it is a recipe for disaster.

My family had done a wonderful job in my absence, baking some of my favorite cookies and wrapping all the presents for the little kids.

Later that night, as we cleared up from dinner, Jasmine asked me why someone had put away all the cookies but left about six still on the tray. I thought that was weird too, and then it dawned on me—Buzz had struck again! That naughty, rascally dog had eaten a few dozen cookies right off the tray. No more cookies for Christmas Day! Unfortunately, that was the proverbial last straw for me. I began to weep. All the pressure and struggle of an entire week culminated in that moment. We had to have the special Christmas cookies! Or Christmas would be ruined! 

Tom very wisely bundled me off to bed with the sage advice that it would all be better in the morning. And, do you know? He was right. I got up every couple hours to feed Joseph (he was now crying for his food. Hallelujah!) but was still able to wake up early. I stuffed stockings, set out a special breakfast, and wrapped the few presents our family would receive, just in time for my big kids and hubby to wake up. Then, we were able to do our Children's Christmas Party. 

Day by day, Joseph improved. His trademark grins returned. One day he even giggled! He giggled! He was on his way back! Aside from his half shaved head (we really ought to do the other and create a baby Mr. T), you can't even tell he was sick. 

Thank you all for the encouraging comments you've been leaving me. I really appreciate your encouragement. Having a cyber community means the world to me!

A Family Affair

Someone wrote me an email recently (Z, I haven't forgotten about replying, I promise) and asked to see more pictures of Joseph.

He is growing up so quickly and well. Someone stepped up to sponsor the special milk we need for him, and for that we are extremely grateful.

Here in the house he is quickly becoming a favorite. --I know....we shouldn't have favorites....oh, well.--

Even Tom has this cute look on his face when he looks at Joseph. Then he sees that I'm looking at him and he pretends to be gruff again. Silly man.

Taking care of the babies in our home takes all of us pitching in and doing our part even while doing our other duties.

Tom has held him on (a rare) ocassion while catching up on TV shows.

Timmy and Jasmine will both help out with holding Joe while doing their computer school or surfing the web.

And, have you ever noticed that a baby takes its best naps while snuggled on the chest of a sleeping grownup?

Joseph can't help but feel loved with all the people taking turns to cuddle and hold him.

Oh, and by the way! He rolled over today! At 7 weeks old! Isn't he just the best and most developed baby ever?? Yes, I am completely in love with him. Why do you ask?

Update: After Thursdays blog post about the opportunity to help us get chickens for the orphanage, you have donated enough to purchase 69 chickens! Only 31 to go! There is still time to donate. Be a part of a wonderful effort.

Thank you to all those who have given so far. You all rock!!

Exactly One Year Ago: Monkey Business

Important Facts

I have four interesting things to tell you today:

Firstly-- Joseph has gained weight! I repeat, Joseph has gained weight! It is only 100 grams (3.5 oz) but it is something!!
He's eating like a champ now. He also sleeps really well. It won't be long before he is chubby. Can't wait!

Secondly--Guess who is a self-soother? Joseph is!! He found his middle fingers and happily occupies himself with sucking on them when he is bored or approaching sleep time. Of course this means he nearly takes out his eyes each time with those long fingers but that's a small price to pay for a peaceful baby. Right?

Thirdly--If one cleans off one's desk and makes progress at chipping away at the avalanche of papers, folders, correspondence and other items that seem to find their way to one's workspace, one might uncover a forgotten stash of Belgian chocolate. 

Look at that loveliness!

Finally--If you take a look below you will find links to articles written last year and the year before. Walking down memory lane is fun!

Exactly One Year Ago: Forgiveness vs. Consequences

Exactly Two Years Ago: Jack Fruit

Do you have any interesting facts for me?

Our New Baby Boy

 Wednesday a group of four people visited the orphanage to tell me about a 2-day-old baby who had lost its mother during childbirth. I sent them home with a baby bottle and a tin of formula until I could pass by later in the week to see the baby myself.  They told me the name of their village and gave me a phone number. This was the only 'address' I had.

When I set out for shopping on Friday, at the back of my mind was that later in the day I would be meeting a tiny, little baby. I had to protect my heart. I'm a sucker for bitty babies. While this is a good thing since my life's work is caring for babies, I have to be careful not to let it cloud my judgement.

After wrapping up the shopping and errands, we started off for home. I knew the general area of the village so we drove slowly looking for a group of people and a newborn baby. Lo and behold, it turned out that the family we were looking for lives directly opposite one of our Peace Corps friends. This turned out to be a good thing.

As soon as I climbed out of our LandCruiser I was surrounded by a group of about 20-30 people. One of them was holding a huge bundle of blankets that contained a tiny, little baby. It took a good bit of unwrapping of layers before I could even look at the baby's body to determine the physical condition. The first thing I looked for was the umbilical cord. I didn't find it--I found a fully healed navel. 

"This is not a 3 day old baby"! 

"Yes, you are correct. The baby is five days old. No, one week old. No, wait, the mother died last Thursday." 

So, that made the baby 8 days old.

I tried to make sense of which family members belonged to the little guy but eventually gave up and drove over to the nearby clinic to look over the paperwork for the mom. What I found out there was that the baby's mom had died of hemorrhaging. One very good bit of news was that she had tested negative for HIV. That means her baby stands a really good chance of making it. He also had a decent birth weight of 2.9 kg. (@6.5 lbs).

  Looking over the paperwork did raise a few questions. The father had told me that aside from this newborn baby, they had a 2 year old and a five year old. The clinic paperwork showed three pregnancies in 1996, 2000, and 2002. 

Finally, deciding I'd gathered enough information, I went back to the family and spoke with them about our foster program and made sure they understood that we would be taking responsibility for the baby until he is 18 years old and finished with his education.

After this conversation, I went over to speak with our Peace Corps friend. She confirmed the story about the mom, but added some extra details. Apparently, this young woman (in her early 30s) had 11 children. The first birth was in 1996. So, in the last 15 or so years, this woman gave birth 11 times. No wonder she was exhausted. Poor woman!  Our friend was very glad that we had been able to come get the baby. The father of this large family is just a farmer. He barely grows enough food to feed his family; taking care of a tiny baby without a mom is really difficult.

Bottom line: We now have a new baby!

Joseph is now 9 days old. He is quite thin--he only weighs 2.5 kgs (5.5 lbs)--since he wasn't fed properly for the first week of his life. He also has some type of bacterial infection--possibly staph. Because he didn't get regular feedings Joseph is not good at drinking from a bottle. He tires quickly when sucking and forgets to swallow allowing the milk to run back out of his mouth. 

We are giving him daily antibiotic shots and feeding him every two hours. He is getting better each time at drinking.

Any baby, under the age of 6 months, here in rural Africa, is quite fragile. Expectant mothers don't get the nutrition and care they need. Hygiene is poor during and after birth and there is so much waiting to attack their delicate immune systems--even if they do manage to dodge the HIV threat.

Please pray for Joseph as we work to get him fully adjusted, bonded and healthy. He is a sweet, and handsome little guy and I'm already a little bit in love.