I wish....

Last month two of our nannies gave notice. 

One is expecting a baby in November and one is hoping to go to nursing school. Obviously I will wish them well in their ventures....eventually. Right now, I'm just sad. I've invested hours in training these young women who came to us with very little education and no work experience. 

One of them hasn't even finished (or even started) high school but we took her on anyway and she has grown by leaps and bounds. But now she's leaving. And sadly, she's not even leaving to further her education....she is going to have a baby--her second. She's not married, although she claims she will be joining her boyfriend in another city. I wish she had made better choices or had better options in her life.

The other girl is planning to go to nursing school. I wish I had more hope for her future but in her high school classes she failed ALL her subjects. She claims she will study hard between now and October to pass the subjects in a new session of exams. At the moment I don't hold out much hope. I wish her the best and pray that she studies hard. Zambia does need nurses, but not ones who've bribed their way through already sub-standard courses.

I've been interviewing new candidates for nanny positions, but I wish I didn't have to. I wish we could find people who would partner with us and keep the kids' needs first in their hearts. I wish they would be here for the kids and not for the money--'cause Lord knows it's not a job for making money--ask me how I know...

All the kids we have here have already lost their families. We are trying to create a new family for them. But their 'aunties' keep leaving. I wish the kids didn't have to say goodbye so often.

Aside from the fact that I hate that the kids' hearts will be a little more sad and broken, there is the quality of care to take into account. Kids are just not cared for with the same standard that you and I would expect. This means that I have to do a lot of hands on training to get the ladies who come here to the place they need to be. This takes hours and hours of my time--time I really don't have. I wish I could invest my time more wisely--perhaps into holding and loving on the kids we have in our care.

Now I'm faced with training 3 new ladies in the next month or so. Yes, three! That's because in just the last few minutes yet another lady gave her notice. Only, she gave us a three day notice. Three days!! to find and train a replacement. We have one year contracts for formality's sake and they are all coming due this month which is why this particular lady felt she could skip the 30-day-notice clause. I understand that, but I wish she had practiced some common decency?

These are the children of Africa. The children of Zambia. Why is it then that mainly Americans and Europeans are giving of their money, time and effort to provide a new home for these children? Why don't I see the same commitment of spirit from most of these young women? These children are not just children of Zambia, they are actually even distantly related to some of these women. Where is the love?

Is my frustration leaking out onto your keyboard? I do apologize. I'm tired. Tired because I've been up nearly every night for the last few weeks with a tiny newborn. Tired because I'm carrying a heavy burden. Tired because I'm trying to carry it alone rather than give it over to the One who can carry it all.  

Would you pray for me today? Pray that I can trust in Him to be a Father to the fatherless.  To comfort all of our hearts. To make the transition time easy and painless. To bring in workers and caregivers who are committed to lovingly raising these kids God's Way. Thank you.

P.S He is already answering that prayer in one small way. Meg is coming back! Next summer, if God wills, and then (again God willing) permanently the following year. Please keep her in your prayers as well.

There are other volunteers who are already expressing interest in spending their summer with us. I'm grateful. Really, I am.

P.P.S Have a read through these posts of yester years and come back to remind me why I'm here. 

Exactly Two Years Ago (Yesterday): Adventures in Baby Care

Exactly Two Years Ago: Our Kids--Volume One--Jennifer