The Accidental Missionary

On my trip to Lusaka for Thanksgiving supplies I hired a taxi for the day to run me around town visiting all the shops. My phone battery was running low because of being on the bus all day and night and then being on the go the following day as well. Since I was about to get back on the bus for another overnight ride I asked the taxi driver if he had a car charger. He did and I handed him my phone.

He plugged it in and I leaned back into the seat in the rear of the taxi.

  Two seconds later I began to panic--I felt my pockets, searched my purse, looked in all the pockets, moved my parcels and bags around desperately looking for.....

my phone!

I was in a complete panic and began saying, "my phone, my phone". The taxi driver couldn't hear me well but asked if I wanted to use my phone and began to hand it to me.

Yes, I, in the space of less than 30 seconds, had forgotten where I had put my phone!

I sat back in my seat and chuckled to myself: Lord, you chose me??

For the record I don't really mean the title of this post. I know that God has a plan for me and I didn't 'fall' into this life by mistake but sometimes when people compliment me and call me an angel or say they couldn't do what I do, I get all itchy. 

I am so grateful for compliments--it's my secondary love language after all--but I think people ought to know that if it weren't for God I would not be able to do this at all.

In 2003, we had been in Africa over a year and I headed to the States for some fundraising engagments. I stayed for a bit with my brother-in-law and his family. One day as I was visiting with them my little 3 year old niece came running up to me calling, "Aunty Amy, Aunty Amy! I have somethin' for you!" I absentmindedly put out my hand to receive her little gift. Just as it dropped into my outstretched hand it registered what it was--a little roly poly pill bug.

I screamed and threw it back at her without a second thought. Immediately I felt bad and scooped up the little wide-eyed darling for kisses and cuddles but her dad turned to me and said dryly, "And you live in Africa?"

Yes, folks, I hate bugs and live in a land where I'm surrounded by them.

Here are the top 8 reasons (in no particular order) I make a terrible choice for a missionary:

1. I cannot handle bugs well. Even a small insignificant one has been known to make me screech and scream and get a toe tingle.

2. Snakes scare me half to death (did I mention my husband keeps poisonous snakes?).

4. I am claustrophobic in a country where people have no concept of 'personal space'. I have had to do breathing exercises and concentrate on a postage stamp sized view of the sky on bus trips at times.

5. I'm not an adventurous eater. I'm a great cook and I love to try new things but not if they include caterpillars, unusual fish, or things I haven't seen prepared myself.

6. I'm logical and orderly. Most developing nations don't operate on logic (at least not as we define it) and it can drive you batty in a heartbeat.

7. I hate crowds. I didn't even participate in big shopping days in the States because I can't handle crowded stores. Zambia loves crowds. Especially in a village--the smallest happening will draw a crowd very quickly.

8. I'm a control freak of the highest order and if there is anywhere you discover quickly that you are not in control of anything at all it is on the mission field.

God has really worked in my life to make me fit for his service and all my problems make me lean on Him even more.

I do have one thing going for me though.......

I am not what you'd call small and delicate. I'm a little more sturdily built and I have nice 'womanly curves'. 

Did you know that snakes can't see or hear well but they 'see' with their tongues and by feeling vibrations on the ground?

Yes, my size keeps me safe from snakes. They can feel me coming from way across the yard! 

I don't know what I'm going to do if this diet works........